I started seeing a new therapist last August
I started seeing a new therapist last August after a massive mental breakdown that almost no one in my life noticed. I managed to hold onto my life and the things and people in it and started some new meds that seem to be helping. I am trying very hard to not isolate myself and seek human connection more. However, I still sink back into depression and dissociate often. I don't speak to or see anyone for days at a time and no one reaches out either. When I resurface, I just want to see people and connect, but everyone is busy with their uninterrupted lives. I can't help but blame myself for my lack of solid friendships, but at the same time, I do have some people in my life that I feel really should be there for me more. I feel like I'm always a backup friend when the better friends are busy. I'm never a top priority. People are always weirdly impressed with my self reliance, but I only am out of necessity. It makes it hard to value myself when others seemingly don't value me.