Covid Stories for Solidarity

Due to covid-19, mental health has been a challenge for many. According to the CDC, as of June 2020, 40% of Americans have struggled with mental health and/or substance abuse problems. Please remember to be gentle with yourself and to be gentle with others. Covid has affected us all differently and there is no wrong way to feel. Here are some stories to hopefully help you feel less alone. 


We are a single family income of 5, and we were struggling before Covid hit. Our only vehicle has weeks left, my husband commutes and we are living paycheck to paycheck. Some nights we just look at each other and take a deep breath because I know we are both just waiting for the other shoe to drop...security isn't in our vocabulary right now.

I'm so thankful that I have him to do this with. I can't imagine working this hard with someone I didn't love and respect so much.

- Human, 40 y/o
~


I will never forgive the people who travel this Thanksgiving. I just don't get it and I'm tired of trying to get it when my days are spent operating ventilators in the ICU.

I keep trying to be kinder, to offer more grace but after the hell of last April and the PTSD from it, I refuse to be tolerant of selfish decisions that–in my mind–equate to murder.

- Human, 31 y/o


I keep having panic attacks. Since February, I've lost my business and job to quarantine and both my parents to Covid-19.

I don't understand how we got here or how you could decide your vote doesn't matter.

We are voting for human decency and I am terrified of discovering that hope doesn't prevail and that most Americans don't give a damn about my parents death or the loss of my entire livelihood.

- Human
~


When my brother died of COVID in April, it changed my entire perspective on life.

Now, instead of moving forward from my recent divorce and miscarriage, I realize none of it matters. We are all going to die.

Everything feels pointless. I'm waiting for the end, one slow day at a time.

- Human
~


I'm a frontline healthcare worker, I've been nonstop working since the pandemic started. We are so poorly staffed, and every week more people are out sick.

I'm so exhausted but the stress keeps me awake at night.

I want to be strong for all my patients but it's so hard and I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this.

- Human
~


My Partner is in the US and I'm in Canada. We haven't been together since April. Both of us are struggling with our mental health.
Every time they announce the border closure will continue another month, I'm both thankful that the spread of covid is being contained and heartbroken that we have to wait another month to see each other.

- Human
 
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I haven't laughed properly in months.

- Human
 
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I have not left my apartment for 5 months, 22 days and 7 hours.

I keep telling myself this is how I help the world–how I heal the world. But that's a lie. This is how I justify my OCD and agoraphobia.

This is something I only do for me.

- Human, 34 y/o
 
~


I'm safe. I don't have a plan.

I also don't want to exist anymore.

The pain of the world, this life, this year–it's all just too much.

- Human, 37 y/o
 
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I'm exhausted.

I don't know how to take care of myself and correctly respond to current events.

Those feel like mutually exclusive activities at this point.

- Human, 25 y/o
~

 

I have gained weight in the past 9 months. From a mental breakdown to Covid, I just stopped moving.

I was finally feeling better and a 5 year old told me I was bigger than the last time she saw me.

I think it hurt more because I know it wasn't malicious and was just her observation.

I just wish I could do this year all over because I am afraid my disordered eating is coming back.

- Human, 34 y/o
~


I'm not okay. At all.

And I don't know how much longer I can go on fighting for my life when I live in a system that refuses to fight or even care for me, my family or my livelihood.

- Human, 31 y/o
 
~


I love that I don't feel pressure to hug anymore.

I honestly hope I never have to hug or be hugged by another person ever again.

If it could just stay like this, maybe, just maybe, my body will start to feel safe again.

- Human, 18 y/o
 
~

 

I teach second grade. I had a panic attack in front of my class today.

I thought I hid it but a quiet girl who usually keeps to herself walked up to me, put on the medical gloves that are out on the 'sanitize table' and said, "Give me your hands. Even if we can't hug, our hands can hug and hugs always help."

It took everything in my power not to burst into tears. I don't know how I'm going to survive this week, let alone this entire year.

- Human, 35 y/o
~


I don't want to stop wearing masks.

It hides my cystic acne and has provided a new found confidence.

- Human, 32 y/o
~

 

I wish we could go back to lockdown. It's the only time I've slept well in years. It's the only time I've known that my two black sons are safe.

- Human, 47 y/o
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I'm single and terrified that this pandemic is stealing one of the last years of my youth that I'll be able to meet a decent partner to spend my life with.

My coupled friends do not understand at all how isolating this is, and I get furious every time they talk about being "lonely" while living with a significant other.

- Human, 32 y/o
~


I don't even remember what feeling okay feels like.

- Human, 31 y/o


Thank you to everyone for honoring us with your stories.