I am beginning to learn how to parent myself
I am beginning to learn how to parent myself at 31 years old. I think it starts with self-compassion and immense courage, values that are brand new to me. I was taught my feelings never mattered. In fact, they were a burden to everyone around me so I best make myself invisible. Don't rock the boat. I do have empathy for my parents, as I'm sure their needs were never met as children, but I have to hold them accountable for never meeting mine, and causing so much trauma to me and my sibling. They've always been absorbed in their own dysfunction and denial. How could they gaslight me for so long and still deny deny deny it ever happened? I'm done living their version of the story. For the first time in my life I am allowing myself to be angry...but now my dad is dying. The alcohol finally caught up to him.
- Human, 31 y/o